The characters have big eyes and exaggerated features and the scenery is bland. Graphics are really, really cartoony, probably to avoid being too explicit. And yes, many races, body shapes and stereotypes are represented and Ron Jeremy is in the game. There are a lot of missions to do, and although they’re all zany (involving pimps, whores, and even pygmies) they don’t offer a lot of variety and become really tedious after awhile. You need these things too because it’s easy to get beaten up and fail at your attempts which will plunge your stats to a heartbreaking level. Do you like to take drugs? Well good, because you get to take all kinds of drugs and alcohol to power yourself up in weird ways. You are going to be doing a lot of fighting and get ready for frustration, because your mouse controls the camera, which makes things go super haywire. Want to fight? You click the mouse buttons and you can block with the wheel. When you look forward to an awful, camera tilted fight instead of virtual sex, you’ve got problems. This sounds fun and it’s worth a chuckle the first few times but you’ve got to have a lot of sex in order to get things going for your little sack, and the higher up you get, the harder the sex is (JUST LIKE REAL LIFE). You get to choose what sex you want, then you have to match up your power meters until you wear the girl down. From here you turn into some stupid redneck character who gets you to do little open world missions to save Bonetown.
You’ve got to steal identities (which really helps because you can steal the person’s stats too, which avoids tedious leveling up) and get sexual favors to heal your wounds (if you aren’t rated well, you have to pay for it!). Of course, it’s not that easy and you must stop “The Man, Inc” from taking over Bonetown and making it morally acceptable. That’s really the gameplay- you have sex with ‘gross’ girls like whores and fat ladies in order to work up to the ‘ideal’ women who are skinny and hot. This is the problem for you you can’t nail any of the really hot girls in town unless you grow your nuts. After you awkwardly beat him to a pulp, you meet Candie, the chick who explains that you’ve got a small ball sack. You start things off by creating a character and then you wind up on ‘missionary beach’, where some at dude is pissing on you and mumbling about a jellyfish. This one had me playing late at night to ensure there were no prying eyes wondering what the hell I was trying to do.Īnyway, the game. At the end of the day, it feels weird and I feel kind of stupid for trying to do it. With that said, I’m not so starved that I feel the need to play a porn ‘game’ that has cartoony characters having graphic sex with each other. Now, don’t get me wrong- I am a red-blooded Canadian male and I appreciate and enjoy the female form and all that it has to offer.
I’ve got to be honest guys, I am not certain I’m the best person to review this game. It is a game about your balls growing bigger as you have more sex. This is a game about having sex with as many women as possible. We’re talking about Bonetown here, a game that claims to be an ‘action/adventure/porn game’ that has been kicking around on the internet for a couple of years.
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